Blood moon // 4.15.14 

"No. Stop. Don’t touch me, please.
God, I’m sorry. I was just trying to hold you…
No, I’m the one who should be sorry. I know you were just trying to hold me. And I love you, I do, but sometimes I just don’t want to be touched.
I feel that way sometimes too.
It’s just awful, isn’t it? And sometimes I just want to be touched so badly, so goddamn badly, like a vase longs to be filled with flowers, and other times I shrink back from someone’s hands because they’re getting too close to me.
That kind of paradox is such a confusing thing. But I understand, though. It’s like being made of glass, and sometimes you want someone to polish you up gently; other times you’re afraid they’ll shatter you.
Yes. Yes, just like that."
Conversation 10 (via girlchoking)
"i tape a poem to my wall and title
it “scrambled eggs”, my therapist
doesn’t think it’s healthy to water
my plants with old pepsi cans, but
she doesn’t know the difference
between the color of the sky and
the color blue, i take photographs
of wrists and name them after
famous poets, my last one was
W.H Auden, i tell my brother that
if i ever have children i will name
them just that, he doesn’t care
and tells me that his pot dealer
is in jail for rape, i kiss boys at
parties who pronounce my name
wrong, when i tell this to you, you
laugh and tell me that i’m the
strangest poet you’ve ever met, a
man with big elbows spoke to
my class about drunk driving,
nobody seemed to notice that
he never once told his victim he
was sorry, i flinch when people
ask about my sister, your words
still ripple across my skin like nails,
i swallow teeth and have read Lolita
four times since you’ve left, nobody
asks what i dream about, nobody
seems to care, i read in some article
that the fish population is greatly
increasing, i also read that at the
age of seventeen you’ve only met
approximately thirty four percent
of people in the spam of your entire
lifetime, i bought chalk last week
but forgot about the milk, i think time
is erasing you, and i’m afraid i am too"
i know you think of me on nights like this (via irynka)